Monday, May 30, 2011

To speak, or not to speak...?

I have heard just about every piece of "advice" out there on how to get pregnant. I could right a book on what not to say when someone’s trying to conceive. In fact, here are just a few of my favorites:
 - Just relax and it will happen
 - Take a multivitamin and change your diet
 - Use an ovulation chart and take your temperature daily
 - Try this position - you'll for sure get pregnant
 - Are you sure you're doing it right?
And that’s not even the half of it. The list goes on.

As those of you who know me best, I'm not the most patient person and sometimes not the most cordial either. So imagine the shock I gave myself when I would just smile and throw in the occasional, "Oh thank you" during those moments of such essential advice given freely to me from friends & family, doctors and sometimes people I didn't even know! All the while inside I'm saying, "Are you freaking kidding me?!" 

What most people don't know is that during many fertility treatments you are given so many hormones that could not only kill a horse, but it triggers mood swings, hot flashes, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, bloating - basically it’s enough to bring out the best (worst) in you. So, Lord only knows how I kept my cool, because I felt like a 24 year old going through menopause.

All of this to say I never really understood the significant difference between sympathy and empathy until recently. I think it's very difficult to understand the pain someone is going through without truly having been there yourself. It's one thing that I've learned going through all of this and it's relevant to every situation, not just infertility. If we can try and put ourselves in the shoes of someone else that is dealing with a crisis of there own, we would know how to react, or not react, to that situation. 

The saying that I've become fond of, but never really liked hearing when I was growing up, is Think Before You Speak.  You never know how something that you say is going to effect someone else, even if its meant in jest. Someone can look strong on the outside, but could be completely falling apart on the inside. So tread lightly all you Well Wishers.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


1 in 6 couples will struggle with infertility - that's approximately 7.3 million people.  It's easy to feel removed from a subject you associate as the intriguing documentary you watch on TLC or the heartbreaking article in Women's Health Magazine.  Because surely infertility would never effect me, I'm only 23!  And still it's hard to believe I could be in a category that large and feel so isolated.

Writing this blog is honestly one of the most difficult things I have ever done. For those of you who know me, I am a very private person when it comes to my personal life. I am not the kind of person that divulges every detail of their life just so everyone can be in the know - I believe that some things should remain private. That being said, I am completely stepping out in faith and obedience to God.

It has been a difficult journey that we've encountered this past year.  It's taken 3 doctors, 3 surgeries, and so many visits, tests and labs that I've stopped counting. All to reveal our surreal diagnosis of not being able to have children without the assistance of IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).

 All my life I have put on the "My-Life-Is-Wonderful-And-Perfect" face, when in fact I can barely make it through the day without having a really good cry. The past three years has been the ultimate faith test, and to be completely transparent with you I feel as if I have failed miserably. I am so blessed to have had my wonderful husband by my side through it all. He is truly the glue that keeps us both together.

The Lord is continuing to stretch my faith with each day that passes. I know that at this moment in our lives we are meant for this season and I would be lying if I said I wasn't completely terrified. I am however excited for the outcome, because the Lord has already won the victory. and I know we will overcome!

So thus begins my journey.  Knowing I am not alone is a far cry away from feeling I am not alone.  Therefore I not only encourage you to share this with friends and family, but ask that you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and stories with me as well.  I look forward to getting to know all of you as you get to know me.